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Four years ago, at a bar in Brooklyn, I cried a few drunken, happy tears watching soccer titan Abby Wambach, fresh off a World Cup win, run ecstatically toward the stands to kiss her then-wife, Sarah Huffman. Wambach, one of the best players of all time, would be retiring from the game with a 5—2 win over Japan and yet another coveted title under her belt. For one thing, a lot of the players look like the kinds of hot mean girls with ponytails who both intimidated and titillated me in my closeted youth. A few days before the World Cup finals, President Donald Trump hijacked the National Mall to stage his 4th of July rally, as a monument to white American exceptionalism and supremacy. I feel, if anything, perversely grateful that my race and class status have afforded me the safety and well-being so frequently denied to others in this country.